I want self knowledge. It\u2019s part of what I do in life. For me it isn\u2019t work, it\u2019s love, but by the same token, it isn\u2019t for everybody, nor should it be. There\u2019s no money in it, not everyone feels passionate about it, not everyone has the aptitude, many are turned off by introspection, considering it a waste of time and many don\u2019t believe in \u2018that sort of thing.\u2019 Well, I enjoy educating myself, and I get part of my ongoing education and a sense of satisfaction from \u2018that sort of thing\u2019 that also harmonizes with my supporting the work of the Lifeboat Foundation. <\/p>\n
At the same time I\u2019m aware of a certain \u2018unconscious\u2019 role that I forged in my early life crucible so as to get me what I wanted at a time when my thinking and my \u2018worldview\u2019 were primitive to say the least. What might anyone \u2018want\u2019 in such a situation? Imagine. Using whatever genetic and epigenetic equipment entered this life with me I interacted in complexity with the other participants in the crucible, emerging as \u2026 what? Here lie the origins of liberated or not,according to psychological dynamic thinking. <\/p>\n
Notice how hard it is to get rid of that \u2018I.\u2019 I wish I knew more about my \u2018I.\u2019<\/p>\n
Well, enough of that, so for now, in one way or another I resolved my early life core dilemma in a way that left a pattern. A role in a drama learned early on in life endures. It endures, firstly because certain psycho-biological infrastructure is embedded in various functions of \u2018me\u2019 and secondly because my drama serves a purpose for me. If I didn\u2019t use it, it would fade away in disuse. I value it. Simplistically said, if I \u2018succeed\u2019 it\u2019s because I\u2019m superior, if I \u2018fail\u2019 it\u2019s because I\u2019m misunderstood. A hero in a world of fools. My drama is my treasure, I\u2019ll resist if someone tries to persuade or coerce me to let go of my treasure, and if I imagine it\u2019s the only tool I have, I can\u2019t imagine life without it. Who said that life was rational?<\/p>\n
Then suddenly one day I\u2019m an adult-nothing to do with chronological age-and, yes, it can happen suddenly, and I see my treasure as a load on my back, a burden, a fantasy born in fantasy. So why not dump it? But what about\u2026? What if \u2026 ? It\u2019s still hard to imagine life without it. Well, maybe I can bargain. Maybe I\u2019ll undertake a program of \u2018reeducation\u2019 or therapy in which I\u2019ll hear what I want to hear, then I can have my cake and eat it. <\/p>\n
And I\u2019ll continue blaming others or circumstances for what I don\u2019t like about life. Right back in crucible mode. <\/p>\n
Hunched long term in my crucible while knowing better, I\u2019ll not only dislike myself but I\u2019ll also feel guilty, and feeling guilty I\u2019ll escalate until eventually I\u2019ll hate myself. And you know what? Out of self hate come the \u2018isms.\u2019 What is racism but self loathing projected!<\/p>\n
Why is all this important? Why should anyone care? To some it may sound like a lot of navel gazing anyway. Well, folks, listen to this: What if secret desires conflict significantly with a socially adopted role? There lie the ingredients of a psychological \u2018double life.\u2019 And you know what, it manifests. I might just sabotage my own efforts to get what I want in my life drama. Or what if I find myself in an impossible situation that I hate and I want out? I can always create a scene. And what about espionage, industrial spying, political spying? How about hacking? How about the destructive use of technology yet to be developed? Well, is the life drama important, or isn\u2019t it? <\/p>\n
There\u2019s more: It\u2019s just possible that wars in the air, on land and on sea originate in battles originating in early life crucibles. The war within becoming the war without.<\/p>\n
Without fear there can be no courage, to paraphrase Eddie Rickenbacker, the great American flying hero, a man who happened to know something about fear and also about courage. <\/p>\n
To be sure, in the never-ending search for truth there is and there probably cannot be any rigid ritualized method. We don\u2019t have a unified theory of the human condition, and bottom line when I examine mind with mind, I find plenty of mystery to tickle my sense of wonderment.<\/p>\n
Not to forget the \u2018I.\u2019 I wonder where the \u2018I\u2019 comes from. What can it be?<\/p>\n
In conclusion, the only advice I can give is to myself, the only life role I can identify is my own, and only I can come to grips with the egocentricity that is my own life drama \u2026 <\/p>\n
It\u2019s a beginning.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I want self knowledge. It\u2019s part of what I do in life. For me it isn\u2019t work, it\u2019s love, but by the same token, it isn\u2019t for everybody, nor should it be. There\u2019s no money in it, not everyone feels passionate about it, not everyone has the aptitude, many are turned off by introspection, considering [\u2026]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":121,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[225],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1419","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-philosophy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeboat.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1419","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeboat.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeboat.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeboat.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/121"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeboat.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1419"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lifeboat.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1419\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeboat.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1419"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeboat.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1419"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeboat.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1419"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}